I don’t miss you…

…not at all. Not in the least.

I don’t even like you.

I don’t even think about you anymore…

……..I never really thought about you when we were hanging out together anyway.

I got over you easier than I did any other woman….

I don’t think about you kissing someone else….

Laughing with someone else.

Dancing with someone else……….

I don’t care if you laugh at me. It really never crosses my mind.

What do you want to hear?

That sometimes I do think about you?

Do you want to hear that I go to the fragrance counter in the mall and have your perfume sprayed on a card that I take home…..

Do you want to hear that I seal it in a bag with something that you used to wear that I’ve kept all these years…

Do you think that I do that so I can close my eyes and inhale deeply, your essence…..

……And that I open the bag ever so gently yet quickly seal it again so I can savor your scent… And so I don’t have to go back to the mall and get more…

Do you want to hear that I can’t even look at another woman the same way because all I do is try to measure her up to you and they never do.

You want me to tell you that your imperfections are more beautiful than all of their greatest attributes combined?

No.

It’s not true, and I won’t say that.

I won’t say that I don’t even know if I can make love again, because how can I if she isn’t perfect like you.

I won’t say that I listen to your voice on my answering machine, or look at your pictures and just wish that I had another one chance….

another one second…..

to touch you….

……one more time.

I’m not going to tell you that I long for one last goodbye….

…while at least knowing that it is a goodbye…

…so I can relish the long kiss before you leave.

I don’t wonder every damn night if I ever cross your mind.

And I don’t wonder if you miss me.

Because I don’t miss you at all.

You never owned…

nor could you ever…..

…break my heart.

– ©2017 Chris Pardal

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